No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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