Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
