Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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