At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
