If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
