I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
