just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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