He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
