he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
