She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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