This girl is more easily done than said...
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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