Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry ooosnapple hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(317): View more from Indiana

So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?

Fav 5 2093 1099
share tweet
(206): View more from Washington

Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.

Fav 2 2353 848
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(720): View more from Colorado

how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?

Fav 17 924 3271
share tweet
(813): View more from Florida

Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.

Fav 22 4351 818
share tweet
(419): View more from Ohio

So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?

Fav 49 1164 12466
share tweet
(201): View more from New Jersey

I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself

Fav 34 2414 3954
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(914): View more from New York

you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.

Fav 10 1795 3631
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(270): View more from Kentucky

I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.

Fav 1 813 542
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(973): View more from New Jersey

My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.

Fav 0 5 33
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT