Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry LaViDaBaBaAlEx hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore

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(415): View more from California

From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..

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(647): View more from Ontario

Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.

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(770): View more from Georgia

I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.

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(434): View more from Virginia

He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.

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