Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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