how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
