____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Randomize
