i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
