id be glad to
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
