i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
