I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
