If i come over, it means nothing
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
