covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
