You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
