why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
