i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
