ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
