who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
