the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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