Can i not drive my cunt home
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
