never play flip cup with pint glasses
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
My life is pants optional.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
