Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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