Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
God, you're like boner-b-gone
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
