I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
