My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i drank out of a bidet.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
