I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
