You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
