please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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