did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
