In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
God I need to hump something, right now.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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