do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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