she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
