i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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