Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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