Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
