it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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