I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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