I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
