I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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