i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
