He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
