I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
