i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
