you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i wish my penis had a tongue
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
