Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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