Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
