you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
