he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
