this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
