You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
No subtext here. People are naked.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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