woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
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