I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
