the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
