what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
How naked do you want me to be?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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